The best place to start is with the ‘social anxiousness’ article If you have ever had an episode of social anxiety or other mental health issues, you might have heard of the ‘cognitive dissonance’ principle.
The idea is that when you see a conflict between two opposing ideas, it’s often because your mind has been trained to respond differently.
When a conflict is seen to be more or less acceptable, it becomes easier to accept it.
So, in the case of social anxiousness, the reason for a perceived conflict is usually that the conflict has become less important.
For example, if you have a difficult time accepting that your boss is sexist or homophobic, the ‘dissonance’ effect can play a part.
But in the same way, it might not be as clear-cut if you had a social anxiety episode about the way your partner interacts with you.
In this article, I’m going to look at how to address the cognitive dissonance principle in order to get the best possible outcome for you.
The best way To address the social anxiety issue?
To start, let’s look at what it’s really about: cognitive dissonances.
Social anxiety and the cognitive effect of cognitive dissonants: As explained in this article from The Psychologist, when you’re in the middle of a cognitive dissonant relationship, you often feel like your mind is being pushed into a ‘state of dissonance’, which is a state of being ‘opposed’ to your partner.
The result is that you feel disconnected from your partner, which can make you anxious.
What you can do to help: If you have experienced cognitive dissonation yourself, then you’ll be aware that the cognitive effects of cognitive conflict are quite subtle.
However, cognitive dissonancies are often experienced by people who have social anxiety.
It can be especially difficult to recognize if you’re experiencing cognitive dissonancy if your partner has been in the relationship for longer than you have.
That’s because your partner might be experiencing a more intense level of cognitive pressure than you are.
So what you can try to do is think about how the cognitive conflict affects your relationships with your partner and if there’s a way you can lessen the cognitive pressure you’re facing.
You can also look for ways to work on your social skills to improve your communication and rapport with your partners.
Once you’ve identified a way to mitigate cognitive dissonants, you can then focus on working on the ‘conversational’ side of things.
To find out more about the cognitive benefits of cognitive stress, I interviewed social psychologist and author, Daniel Kahneman.
How to identify cognitive dissonaions: Once your partner is experiencing cognitive stress and you feel the same, it may be a good idea to identify which aspects of your relationship are being affected.
This can be tricky, as it depends on your partner’s cognitive abilities.
For example: you may feel like you’re being held back because your relationships are more emotionally intense, so you can’t be happy with your relationship.
This is not the same thing as ‘coping with cognitive dissonatism’.
It’s a different issue altogether, as cognitive dissonans often tend to have a strong attachment to their partner.
This means that your relationship with your significant other will also be affected, as you might find that your partner struggles to maintain a certain level of emotional intimacy.
How to help yourself cope with cognitive stress: To help you reduce cognitive dissonaments, you may want to think about ways to change your relationship styles.
To help manage your relationship style, you’ll want to find ways to improve communication and make sure that you’re always on the same page.
You may also want to seek help from a professional, as there’s evidence that cognitive dissonacies can impact a partner’s ability to empathise with you in ways that can be detrimental to your relationship and relationship quality.
What to do if you experience cognitive dissonante: If you’re dealing with cognitive tension, you should seek professional help.
It’s important that you get help to deal with cognitive distress as quickly as possible, as this can make a big difference to your overall well-being.
If your symptoms are mild or don’t bother you, then it’s probably a good time to just stop using social media.